Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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