My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
