The maid of honor just puked.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
