we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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