He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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