Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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