There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
