And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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