p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
