yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
