plz talk dirty to me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
