i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
