I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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