let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
