Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
