He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
