god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can text with my tongue
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
