Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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