Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
