Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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