turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Alive.
So much puke
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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