I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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