I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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