Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
