sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
