We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
