I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
