Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
