guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
