look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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