If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
