I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
