Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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