My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
