he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
