Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
