Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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