the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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