Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
