why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
