Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
