We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
no you cant smoke seaweed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
