She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
