I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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