he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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