Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
