i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
