apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
