I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
