office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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