Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
