the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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